A Source of Love and Security
Children seek refuge in their parents’ arms to feel protected and comforted. Despite the belief that holding them too much can spoil them, it is an act of attachment that they need for their development, especially when they are babies.
Debunking the Myth
There is a myth that holding a child too much can spoil them, but this is far from the truth. “After a child’s cry, there is always an emotion that needs to be addressed, sustained, and calmed, and the sooner it is met, the better,” explains Gema López, a psychologist specializing in childhood and family.
Physical Contact is Essential
All children, without exception, need physical contact to feel safe and loved. “Autonomy is built from the feeling of having been cared for, not from the deficit of physical contact. Therefore, there may be individual differences between children, but every person requires a figure of love, security, and affection that provides love, whether in the form of hugs, caresses, or kisses,” adds López.
No Age Limit for Affection
Is it recommended to set an age limit for holding a child in your arms? The answer is no. “The way of transmitting affection and care will change as the child develops, according to their needs and the characteristics of each stage. The younger they are, the more they need it,” explains López.
Physical Contact is a Need
A child who cries needs physical contact to console and calm themselves. “Always hold them when they cry, because it’s about meeting an emotional need. Otherwise, it’s like pretending that they don’t need contact with their mother or father, when what it’s about is perceiving their availability to feel secure,” affirms psychologist Diana González.
Enjoy Physical Contact Without Fear
The daily rush can take away time from holding children in our arms to calm them down or enjoy them. “Society is very focused on independence and the fear of raising dependent children. We forget that to live and achieve adequate autonomy, we must first go through adequate dependence on our first figures of reference and attachment,” says López. “The recommendation would be to hold them in your arms as much as possible, caress them a lot, and look at them with love, because there is nothing more powerful than the bond and attachment, especially if it is based on security and affection.”